Hearing you’re a shitty person is worse
I am so melodramatic it drives ME nuts. Sorry, frands, it’s who I am.
I’m quitting smoking on September 8th in order to better myself, and help me to obtain my goals. My motivations for quitting are mainly monetary and I hope soon after I find myself healthier. I just feel like I’ve been held back far too long by smoking and being a smoker. I want to start a new journey in my life and whenever I envision my future, I’m never smoking. So, why not start now? This will be a big learning experience for me and probably my loved ones and I’m excited and terrified. Smoking has been what I plan my day around for 7 years. For 7 years I stressed about when my next smoke was going to be, who will judge me for it, and am I the only smoker in the group? Well, I’m done with that. I can confidently say I’ve had enough. My smoking has gotten out of control these past few years and it’s a little disgusting.
So, I’ve signed up for a messaging service to start on Sept. 8th. I’m going to tell everyone I love to support me, and I’ve also downloaded an app to remind me of my goals and motivations. I’m going to buy jolly ranchers, gum, lots of fruit and a new Brita filter so I can be occupied from my cravings and practice healthier eating habits. I’ll probably end up putting on my tennis shoes and running out of my house as if my hair was on fire at some point and I just hope I remembered to put pants on. I’ll be cleaning out my car and probably not driving as much as that is one huge trigger for me. I’ve got a plan. Hopefully a solid one because this is one of the nastiest habits to shake and I just want to be successful.
AHHHHH. (I’m already stressed just thinking about it)
I took a step toward my career goal! I applied to be a Flight Attendant for Delta!!
There were many noticeable differences I noted between applying for delta and the last job I applied for. For one, I was riddled with excitement and unbearably nervous while applying for delta. Then a rush of future possibilities played out in my head like: where will I be when I get the phone call for an interview, what will my flight be like to my interview, what will the interview be like, how fun will training be?!, oh god how do I cover my neck tattoo, oh I’m so excited!!
The other job I’ve applied to and actually got was nowhere this exciting. So I’ve realized that THIS, a Flight Attendant is who I want to be, what I want to do. Now, I know that the possibility of me getting hired right now is very slim, I’m hopeful because I’ve got a dream. I have a goal to obtain and if you know me, I’ll go for it and I have a pretty good success rate ;)
not sure if she’s ready for the whole world, but not sure if she can take another minute cooped up in that cage either. leaving the door open so if she has to come back she can do it with a minimum of anxiety
I just miss the love I felt when he was here.
My bedroom is a mess, much like my life. I’m starting to hate myself as well learning other people do as well. Ready to make a change and possibly a move. I need out of here and out of my skin.