I’ve had a few bad days in a row. Mostly just hormones but I’ve been just down right down lately. So, here is a daily affirmation for myself.
I love my home!
I love my neighbors!
I love my friends!
I love my family!
I love my kitty!
I love my jobs!
I love my hair!
I love my smile!
I love my laugh!
I love my eyes!
I love my legs!
I love my lavender lotion!
I love my bedroom!
I love the weather!
Even in the most sad of times, I need to still be thankful for what I have and not worried about what I don’t.
I’ve had a few disappointments in my life, like anyone does. I’m mainly responsible for them but, there are a few, I’m not. Those are the most devastating.
I learned very early on about disappointment
The first time I could recall experiencing the disappointment of loved ones was about the 15th call I made to my mom to make sure she hadn’t forgotten about me. Then, to learn after she had picked me up, that she wasn’t doing anything of any importance and was ignoring my calls. She disappointed me with her lack of responsibility both in the situation and afterward. The second time I experienced devastation by a loved one was in 8th grade. My best friend told me she didn’t want to be my friend anymore and that she wouldn’t talk to me in high school. I don’t think anyone has devastated me quite as much since then until about four months ago. I have to admit to myself that the sole reason I’ve been disappointed by these people more-so than others was because I had an immense, deep love for them along with the most trust a person could offer anyone. Trust that they would do no me no harm.
It is so hard to let go of something you supported for so long. Even knowing that they aren’t the person they tried to make you believe they were. The disappointment they caused has caused a hole in my heart. I don’t believe in these people anymore. I’d say realizing that is harder for me than it would ever be for them.
Just found some old blogs from when I was 16. Get ready for quotes.
I see you, moon, between the passing clouds. Hanging pretty high tonight, I’m in love with your light.
How to be (less) Awkward: No matter how long you can hold your breath underwater, you will always feel the worst right before you surface. The same is true for most challenges: the most uncomfortable part of the experience usually happens the moment before you feel better. If things are hard now, just remind yourself a long, deep breath will be coming soon
My goals for the next year and a half.
Bump my gpa to a 3.0
Get accepted into my first choice graduate program.
Get the internship of my dreams at NPS.
Start my masters degree by Fall ‘14.